DAY 7 - MIAMI
I start off my day with low energy. I did not get to sleep well due to the short flight. I felt hungry and not nourished well. I also just wanted to be by myself and have some quiet moment. I berate myself for having these negative feelings during the last day of the race. I try to shake these off. Not good to end this epic trip with a sullen attitude. So I sidled up to the people I am most comfortable with and just stayed there with them. I also hoped there would at least be some warm food before we start the race to at least perk me up. I was hanging on by a thread.
The starting line was at Allison Park along South Beach’s 63rd St. It was a four-loop out and back course similar to what we had in Perth. I like it that there are fewer loops. I can only hold so much now in my head. I also know that Gabby will be waiting for me at the end of one of those loops. That thought energized me. With him alongside me I can let go a bit. I’m starting to get really tired of holding myself together.
We started running at 1am. The first loop was a strong one for me. I enjoyed the steadiness and solitude of running at this time of day. The quiet calmed me. I focused on using the same breathing rhythm that I practiced in Brazil. The exhaled shhhhh was a deliberate way to also silence nagging thoughts that crept up now in increasing frequency.
It was a good steady pace until the last quarter of that loop when I started to feel
hunger pangs. I need to eat real food when I get back to the aid station. It was important to guard my nutrition because I now am sure that it is closely tied to my energy throughout the race. My happy tummy leads to a relaxed wellbeing that in turn leads to better performance. I’ve started to visualize what I would fuel myself with upon reaching the end of the loop.
When I get to the aid station though, they moved around our stuff so I couldn’t find my nutrition bag. This threw me off since I already sequenced in my head how I wanted to replenish my tank. So I grabbed what was available from the food table and just managed with that. A younger me would have been very unhinged in this situation. It’s a good thing I have curbed this tendency as I matured. Perhaps running the last six marathons this week has also taught me that despite well laid out plans, circumstances may shift and all you can muster is the readiness to shift as well.
The second loop was a much harder one. The first half was a struggle to get my energy up. I ate as much as I could from the two stations along that track. But M&Ms and Coke can only do so much. I started to get cranky. Then the next half was a battle with yet another bout of queasy tummy. The sudden food loading plus worrying about dwindling energy may have caused this. The toilet that seemed closer earlier now felt like ages to reach. I make it in the nick of time.
I resolved to find my bag no matter how long it will take when I get back to the starting line. Again, I imagined how I would refuel. When I got to the aid tent, I find my bag and intentionally slow down my movements so I could think better about how to prepare for the next two loops. I take some pizza, take a gel, and carry extra provisions. I also messaged Gabby to make his way to the starting line so I can see him on the last lap. I told him that I was fading.
The start of the third loop was much better. I got into a better rhythm. I’ve accepted at this point that I will be very slow due to the increased stiffness on my left ankle. This ankle has swelled so much that it looks like it belongs to a very pregnant lady on her third trimester. It’s a good thing that my quads were not acting up as much anymore. It’s good to have an isolated problem versus a dispersed one. I am just happy that all I have are muscular concerns and no real structural breakdown. In these situations you really have to sift through and try to find the silver lining that is always available if only you choose to find it. But balancing this with accepting the reality that the situation also sucks. Both truths can co-exist.
The next half of the third loop was very hard. By this time it was extremely quiet since the runners were spread apart and fewer. Those I saw mirrored the look of utter exhaustion and growing despair that gnawed at me. I willed myself to smile since I remembered that even a fake smile can provide an uptick in energy. I prayed that Gabby would be at the finish line and that he was wearing good shoes so he can run the last lap with me. I sure hoped he was not in his slippers.
Sheer relief coursed through me when I saw Gabby waiting at the end of the third loop. And he was wearing sneakers. My tired mind can finally relax a bit. He helped me get ready for the last loop. Then we start running together.
Gabby doesn’t like running. He would rather get punched in the face in boxing or take a HIIT class. So him running the last 10 kilometers with me is a big ask. I tell him that it’s just like taking our regular Monday walks from our home to Marina Bay Sands since I will be running very slowly. We settle into an easy pace. He tells me about his very long 18-hour straight flight. We talk about the kids. He shares with me his thoughts on a Huberman podcast episode with world class performance coach Josh Waitzkin that he listened to on the flight. It was about how the best athletes transposed their methods of mastery and learning across various aspects of their lives. I believe this with all my heart. How you do one thing is really how you do everything.
The home stretch was against a backdrop of a beautiful sunrise. I now can see the surrounding area of this path I’ve been trudging over the last six hours. We talk about finally achieving a dream that’s been a decade in the making. I tease him that I have been thinking about my next race, back to back Great Wall and Bhutan Marathons. I have not even finished this race and I am already thinking of the next one. I could not help it. We reflect about how our lives have also changed over the past decade, accelerated further in the last four years. Our shared journey has not been easy. But our deep friendship is what lies at our center. I am running this dream with my dear best friend.
I felt a surge of energy and at one point was asking Gabby to speed up a bit. I wanted to finish strong and in the same way I started - running proudly and in good spirits. Gabby speeds up and tells me I should run the last few hundred meters on my own. He will be there at the finish line when I cross the tape. I am forever grateful for this. The opportunity to be my best independent self knowing that I am fully anchored and supported.
I freshen and straighten myself as best as I could. I started to reflect on how this week was so amazing, beyond my wildest imagination. I think about how far I have come from my hometown to all the continents in this wonderful world. My heart swells and a lump of emotion forms in my throat. It has been a crazy journey but I also can’t wait for it to get done. My whole being was exhausted from holding myself together. The entire time, it took every ounce of me to not succumb to the voice of self doubt. It truly never went away. My mind, body and spirit were just vigilant warriors keeping a strong fortress. I thank them each. I also thank my dear swollen ankle for holding up. Then I engage my core and set myself into a strong running stance as I approached the finish line.
The sheer delight of crossing a line I have been trying to reach over the last week (or the last decade) is priceless. I could finally let go. All the emotions bottled within came rushing through. I cried my eyes out. I’ve cried in all the marathons I’ve finished since the first one in 2009 when I finished the Singapore Marathon while eight weeks pregnant with my first child. But the cry after the World Marathon Challenge was something else. It came with all the stirrings and struggles of the past six races. Finally, I have achieved this dream.
My body also decided to let go and I started to feel the heaviness and stiffness of my legs. I felt disoriented and in a daze. As much as I wanted to linger, my body was tugging at me to find some solace and comfort. We make our way to the hotel.
I could barely walk when we get to our room. We asked for ice so I can fill the tub and cool down my lower body. It was very painful just to dip my toes in that icy water. But I knew I had to and that I will thank myself later for doing so. I do a contrast hot bath too. These did wonders as I felt a surge of energy and a desire to have breakfast after this hot-cold practice. We go down and I order a breakfast burrito. How nice to finally bathe properly and sit quietly for a meal. Things taken for granted made precious because of this weeklong amazing race.
So much to unpack, so many thoughts running through my mind. I will sift through these as I recover over the next few days. I do know that these are the life lessons that I will forever hold dear. They will remind me that at one point in my life, I remained steadfast and wholehearted amidst sheer exhaustion and despair. I am sure I would need to be reminded of this when the years roll in and the highs and lows that come with it get to be a little too much. For now, I shall rest and fully let go.